As my prayer became more attentive
and inward
I had less and less to say.
I finally became completely silent.
I started to listen
– which is even further removed from
speaking.
I first thought that praying entailed
speaking.
I then learnt that praying is
hearing,
not merely being silent.
This is how it is.
To pray does not mean to listen to
oneself speaking,
Prayer involves becoming silent,
And being silent,
And waiting until God is heard.
~ Søren Kierkegaard
The issue affects us all
Why have I — a straight, white, male with no children — devoted the last two years of my life to speaking out about the impact of gender ideology on society? I fundamentally believe it to be the issue of our time, with all of us touched by it in one form or another.
Of course, there are distinct groups of individuals who have experienced a detrimental impact, unique to them. We know that language around what it means to be a woman and the sanctity of women’s rights have been under attack. I have proudly shared platforms with the women fighting to preserve female-only spaces, ensure males are held in male prisons, keep men out of women’s sporting competitions, and uphold the concept of what a woman is.
Equally, LGB people have uniquely suffered, in that we have witnessed the erasure of the concept of same-sex attraction. We have even seen LGB people accused of bigotry if they refuse to sleep with someone because of their “self-identified gender”. Again, I have proudly shared platforms with LGB people to fight against the “forced teaming” between sexual orientation and gender identity, and the erosion of their rights.
However, there is much about gender ideology that impacts every single one of us.
Children
Children have been caught in the crossfire of this ideological battle. Many children, across the world, have been fed experimental puberty blockers, cross-sex hormones and even irreversible surgery, as if they were guinea pigs. We only need to look at the increasing numbers of “detransitioners”, many of whom have been left physically and emotionally scarred, infertile and having lost parts of themselves they can never get back, to see the damage that has been caused.
It is particularly harrowing for the parents and family members of children who have been spoon-fed this ideology and end up believing that they are trapped in the wrong body.
As adults, we all have a joint social duty to protect children. Seeing a vulnerable child come to harm affects us deeply, even if we have no relationship with that child ourselves. When innocent children come to harm, it means that we as a society are failing. When a child suffers, we all suffer.
Free speech
Countless people, myself included, have been targeted for our beliefs around biological reality and safeguarding children. We have lost our jobs, our qualifications, our reputations, our livelihoods.
An attack on free speech is an attack on us all. Who can predict which opinions or beliefs they will come for next?
Reality
Human beings flourish when they embrace reality. The reality of biology is that sex is both binary and immutable. When we are forced to conform to an ideology that tells us that it is possible to be born in the wrong body, or that someone has changed their sex, against everything we know to be true, it is an attack on us all.
Given that we all face the fallout of gender ideology, it deeply saddens me that there are those who would seek to shut down others for standing up and speaking out, simply because of immutable characteristics outside of their control.
Identity Politics
I have been told to sit down and shut up because I’m a man. I have been told to sit down and shut up because I’m straight. I have been told to sit down and shut up because I’m white. The suggestion has been that certain matters concern me less. They should, therefore, be left to those with “lived experience”.
I fundamentally believe that this form of identity politics — placing people into boxes, making assumptions about them, and then pitting them against one another — is one of the most destructive forces in our society.
I had always hoped that when it came to something as fundamental as child safeguarding, such identity politics could be dropped in pursuit of something more important. If anything, I can see the squabbles between men and women in particular only further propagating the madness of gender ideology.
There are men out there who are sexualising girls and stereotyping femininity. There are women out there who are writing off boys on the basis of “privilege and patriarchy” and are condemning masculinity.
Is it any wonder that we find boys who no longer wish to be boys and girls who no longer wish to be girls?
A “straight, white, man” is not just a man. He might be a husband or a father, a son or a brother. He might be a doctor or a teacher or a lawyer or a social worker. Every single one of us has skin in this game. Nobody should be shouted down because they possess a characteristic outside of their control.
I implore men and women to come together, put aside or even (dare I say it) embrace our differences, and work together for a better future for our children. Who’s with me?
Why I write about gender | James Esses | The Critic Magazine
A club for
‘dull men’ may just inspire you to see the unremarkable anew
Whether
you’re crazy for roundabouts, addicted to photographing mailboxes, have the
world’s largest collection of British milk bottles, or you’re a dull man with
pretty much any sort of hobby that induces bafflement and yawns in friends and
acquaintances, there’s a club just for you. A drolly cheerful celebration of
the very ordinary, Born to Be Mild explores the uncommon
hobbies practised by the members of the Dull Men’s Club – an online community
that connects ‘dull men, and women who appreciate dull men’. A film-festival
favourite upon its release in 2015, the UK director Andy Oxley’s now-beloved
short documentary has, for nearly a decade, been introducing viewers to the
mildly profound virtue of being ‘dull, not boring’. And while certainly played
for droll laughs, the film may just inspire you to appreciate the mundane,
familiar and otherwise unremarkable anew.
Born
to be mild | Psyche Films
“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.”
