is reached through
the doorway of grief and loss. Where we cannot go in our mind, our memory, or
our body is where we cannot be straight with another, with the world, or with
our self. The fear of loss, in one form or another, is the motivator behind all
conscious and unconscious dishonesties: all of us are afraid of loss, in all
its forms, all of us, at times, are haunted or overwhelmed by the possibility
of a disappearance, and all of us therefore, are one short step away from
dishonesty. Every human being dwells intimately close to a door of revelation
they are afraid to pass through. Honesty lies in understanding our close and
necessary relationship with not wanting to hear the truth.
The ability to speak the truth is as
much the ability to describe what it is like to stand in trepidation at this
door, as it is to actually go through it and become that beautifully honest
spiritual warrior, equal to all circumstances, we would like to become. Honesty
is not the revealing of some foundational truth that gives us power over life
or another or even the self, but a robust incarnation into the unknown
unfolding vulnerability of existence, where we acknowledge how powerless we
feel, how little we actually know, how afraid we are of not knowing and how
astonished we are by the generous measure of loss that is conferred upon even
the most average life.
Honesty is grounded in humility and indeed in humiliation, and in admitting exactly where we are powerless. Honesty is not found in revealing the truth, but in understanding how deeply afraid of it we are. To become honest is in effect to become fully and robustly incarnated into powerlessness. Honesty allows us to live with not knowing. We do not know the full story, we do not know where we are in the story; we do not know who is at fault or who will carry the blame in the end. Honesty is not a weapon to keep loss and heartbreak at bay, honesty is the outer diagnostic of our ability to come to ground in reality, the hardest attainable ground of all, the place where we actually dwell, the living, breathing frontier where there is no realistic choice between gain or loss.
…
HONESTY
From CONSOLATIONS:
The Solace, Nourishment and
Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
Revised Edition : David Whyte and
Many Rivers Press
…
